Wakeup Call Message
February 09, 2004
.

IN SEARCH OF SPIRIT

                                    The Middle Years - 1962 to 1981

I firmly believe God gives us what we need. We are here to learn lessons in soul growth. In the middle years of my life it was a long series of lessons, all learned first hand, since I refused to listen to the wisdom of my parentsÖwho proved to be right on many thingsÖbut not completely right. And maybe itís why I didnít listen because the lecture didnít ring completely true. I felt there was more to it, and there was.

The restrictions got oppressive in my Senior year in high school. I met my first husband when I was a Junior. I accepted a date from John on the rebound from a recent failed relationship. I should have paid attention to all the warning signs that were there from that first date, that this was the wrong path. It kept screaming at me, heís not the one. My parents didnít like him, and with good reason. For starters, he was a pathological liar. He had a genius mentality, but channeled it the wrong way.

If you are going to rebel, do something to spite someone, pick someone they donít like, otherwise itís not rebelling, right? We eloped 5 days after my 18th birthday, a month before we both graduated from high school. We came within inches of being in a fatal auto accident on the way. Two men actually did die. Bad omen of things to come. We lived with Johnís parents for a few months, and a few other times. He was an only son and had a much older sister who we lived with later on.

 

I jumped out of the frying pan directly into the fire. The next 4 years were endless turmoil of one sort or another. I moved 25 times and lived in four states: California, Washington, Oklahoma, Louisiana. While living in Oklahoma, working as a nurseís aid, I had my first experience with precognition, having premonitions that people would die before they did. Iíve done it too many times now for it to be a coincidence. The first time scared the heck out of me when I was right. (These stories must wait for another time because they alone would take up all the space for this entire series)

 

John couldnít keep a job because he always lied about his age, and it got him fired. We moved to Oklahoma because his sister was there. We lived with her for awhile until we rented an apartment across the street from the hospital where I worked. He got fired again, and finally joined the Army, claiming he could go to OCS, another lie. He trained in Louisiana. He lied again and said if I went to Louisiana he could live off base during the second 8 weeks. No, he couldnít. He was transferred back to Oklahoma, but to a different area. I lived with his sister for the next 8 weeks and worked part time at the hospital again and took care of her two daughters in exchange for room and board. He was transferred overseas next. I returned to California, by bus, alone, and lived with my parents this time. While packing, I realized everything we had of any value was gone. We moved so often, it was still in their original boxes. He had taken the car one week and had hocked it all. This was par for the coarse of our lives. I returned to work again at the state hospital for the mentally retarded. It didnít take me long to realize I was better off without him. I finally got some sanity back in my life, without the turmoil. I was able to save some money for the first time, ever. I considered getting a divorce but he got permission to come home and talked me out of it. A number of months later, a final straw broke the camelís back that is too involved to explain in this short amount of space, and I filed for a divorce. He made one more attempt to talk me out of it, but he failed this time. I never saw him again.

On hide sight, when I look back on those 4 years, I realize that adversaries are our best teachers. I probably had more soul growth in that 4 years than the first 18. John never learned from his mistakes, primarily because his father bailed him out over and over again. He finally did something ole dad couldnít fix, he deserted in a time of war. I never found out what happened to him from this problem. I saw that having overly permissive parents was not such a good thing to have.

More lessons learned. During the time between filing for divorce and I remarried, I took a walk on the wild side of life, not completely wild, but compared to the sheltered life I had been raised under, it was. It was party time, stupid time. I met my current husband soon after I moved out of parentsí house and in with a co-worker. Jim knew my roommate, and came to see if his ex-wife had remarried because she was 5 months pregnant by his best friend. Jim was also walking on the wild side for awhile trying to drown his misery in booze and worked as a bartender. We spent a lot of time in bars. He finally went back to his old profession before we got married, which was about a month after my divorce was final. But I had more lessons to learn.

I married into a family of heavy drinkers. Since I didnít appreciate my parents, I was given exposure to ones who were far worse. My father-in-law was an abused child. He became an abusive spouse. Earl was the anti-thesis to my father. Earl wouldnít give us the time of day, unless we went to the bar with him to have a drink, then he was the life of the party, buy everyone a drink. Jim is an only child so his mother felt it her duty to interfere in every thing he did. This pattern of interference was engraved in stone before we got married. It would take a book to explain all the problems we faced from this part of our lives, but it made me appreciate my parents, especially my father.

We moved away from here several times to get away from her constant interference in our lives. Far enough away not to come over everyday, or call six times a day.

During our 6 year stay in Southern California, we had a very different life than the one here. But the problems continued on two fronts, Jimís drinking and his 3 children. We got custody of Jimmy 6 months after we were married, when Jimmy was 15. Two years later, we got Valerie when she turned 15. The next 2 years were a roller coaster ride from hell. They loved to pit their parents against each other, and they were good at it. Tia came for awhile, but never stayed. She never stayed anywhere very long. She was like the wind. She set a pattern for many years to come, about 4 months and she moved on to a new relationship and or place to live.

Jimmy joined the Army one step ahead of the Mod Squad. Valarie went some where every night for 2 years which got her in all kinds of trouble with school, the law and personally. Jim felt guilty over splitting up the family, so he allowed her to do anything she wanted. Over Jimís objection, I told the Juvenile Court Judge what was going on. The judge ordered counseling. The counseling helped Valerie do a complete 180 from the destructive path she was on. She went from flunking out of school to graduating a month early. She moved out before her 18th birthday and in with her boyfriend who moved them to Texas for a year. Tia got married the first time when she was 16, which was also short lived. Her first child was premature and died soon after. We moved back here for a short time, and I went back to work at the state hospital for a few years. Then we moved away again.

I finally found the answer to the mystery of how I could find myself floating in the water. I had to go back through training for a while since Psych Techs required a license which wasnít true before. I went to a lecture by Elizabeth Kubler Ross on Death and Dying, Near Death Experiences. We were shown a film of re-creations of real NDEís. Ms. Ross ended the lecture by telling us she had been thinking about giving up her work at one time since so many people found her ideas hard to believe. She told us a woman came to her office. The shocking thing about this, Ms. Ross knew this woman had died 2 years earlier. The woman told Ms. Ross she had been sent back with a special message which was to tell her to not give up her work, because it was vitally important to the future of mankind. The woman got up and left the office. Ms. Ross got up and ran to the door, obviously in total shock, and looked down the hall...it was empty. An elevator was at the far end of the hall, but the woman didnít have time to get to it...she had vanished. This experience sent me on an endless search for answers. I read every book I could find on Near Death Experiences, on walk-ins, the paranormal, psychics. This was about 1977. I was 33 at the time.

Tia came to live with us for awhile, because she was 5 months pregnant with her oldest child, Jabon, who is currently living with us. They lived with us off and on for the first 8 years of his life and she remarried and divorced 2 more times. All of her husbands and boyfriends were abusive and into drugs and or drunks. Valerie had returned from Texas and had married an abusive drunk who abused drugs. She also had a son, Marshall, who is a year younger than Jabon. Valerie got a divorce when Marshall was 4. It took some time to convince these two girls that all men are not abusive drunks. They thought they were.

I had one other shocking experience in this time era, a miracle child. Many have read about my son, Justin, who is gifted, probably one of the first Indigo children who began being born in 1980 all over the world in huge numbers. I had assumed I couldnít have children so I married a man who already had 3. He had a vasectomy before I met him because his ex-wife wasnít supposed to get pregnant again for health reasons, except she had two more by her second husband. So it came as a total and utter shock to me when I got pregnant when I was 36 years old. It was actually the answer to a prayer. Who says miracles donít happen. Jimís son, Jimmyís wife, Mary, was pregnant at the same time. Mary had her son 6 weeks before Justin was born. D.J was much smaller in birth weight than Justin, who weighed 9 lbs. 7 oz. When we put the two boys side by side, they could pass for twins. 

 

Being the mother of a very gifted child gave me many new challenges. Maybe I had to learn what being a parent was all about before I was given a very special child. One other thing had to happen, which it did 2 years earlier, my husband quit drinking. I was a real estate agent in another town for about 18 months before Justin was born.

In the last and final part of the series is when I finally found real answers. But that era was also filled with a great deal of family tragedy. D. J. would be the first of many.

Love, Peace and Harmony,

Cara McKennon