IN SEARCH OF
Later Years - 1981 to 2004
on. In this last era, I began finding real truth,
learned more lessons, and was faced with a great deal of
family tragedy which began early on in 1981 and
continued throughout this era.
We expect the
very old to die, but not the very young. A hysterical
call came to us one day in April 1981, Jimmy’s wife,
Mary, called and told me D.J. had stopped breathing.
Paramedics were called, but it was already too late. D.J.
was about 3 and a half months old at the time. Justin
was 2 months old. An autopsy revealed D.J. had died of
SIDS…Sudden Infant Death Syndrome. Sheer terror knew
no bounds when we realized this same thing could happen
to Justin. To compound this terror to see a tiny baby
lying in a coffin who is a dead ringer for my own child.
Justin’s nursery was immediately abandoned and his
crib was moved into our room. We never again felt at
ease until Justin got passed the danger zone of about
tore Jimmy and Mary’s marriage apart. Jimmy never
remarried and feared having another child…the pain of
losing his son was too hard to bear again.
In May of that
same year, my older brother, Elbert, called and told us
his oldest son, Gary, had died from complications
associated with epilepsy. Gary was only 26. I also had
several uncles die in that same year. It seemed like
every few months another relative died over the coming
years until most of my parents’ and in-laws’
generation of siblings passed away, with only a few
surviving to this day out of over 60 siblings and their
The first 7
years of Justin’s life, I was a stay at home mother
except for about 2 months when Justin was about 14
months old. I again worked at the state. I had to drive
30 miles each way. I remember saying one day when
walking into the ward, “God, I hate working here, I
wish I could quit.” That very night Jim told me to
quit because he didn’t like the way Tia was taking
care of Justin while I worked. I never went back to work
showing exception ability from the age of 18 months that
continued to be more amazing as he grew older. It would
take another 10 years before I would realize how
exceptional he was when I learned about Indigo children
and why they were being born in such huge numbers all
over the world. He had to be put in home schooling in
the 5th grade where he stayed through high
school because other kids attacked him viciously because
he was so different. Justin refused to bow to peer
pressure and marched to his own drummer. He did better
in home schooling because he wasn’t held back by the
repetitious monotony of regular school and got a better
education. He went to the local college and took every
class they had to offer that interested him. He
graduated with honors and was always on the Honor Roll,
President’s List and Dean’s List and was a member of
their Honor Society.
Jim retired in
1988 on Social Security Disability…another challenge.
My father’s final stroke and death that same year sent
me back into the medical field for a few years. I helped
take care of him. A week after Dad returned home from a
rehab hospital, he got pneumonia, and had to be
hospitalized. Dad was then put in a nursing home over my
objection and the other younger siblings. I knew Dad
would give up and die, and he did less than 24 hours
later. I had seen the pain in his eyes. He felt he was a
burden to my mother and gave up the will to live. He was
also faced with a problem he couldn’t face. He
overheard his doctor tell my sister and uncle that he
had to have his leg amputated or he would die of
gangrene…30 minutes later he was found dead. He had
cheated death 44 years earlier when he was given less
than 24 hours to live. He had a reason to live. I have
seen first hand, on many occasions, that a person’s
will to live is everything. I continued working in the
medical profession for a few years while Jim played Mr.
I also had a
side line, I did mail order. It finally paid off in big
way because it eventually brought me to where I am
today. I went from having two employees working out of
our house to ten in a rented office space. From one old
computer to four networked together. It was during this
time, that I first heard about the prosperity programs
connected to NESARA, except no one had a clue that’s
what was involved. I talked to many people who were
practically hocking their lives to buy more shares
assuming they would became incredible rich before the
year was over. It didn’t happen. Government
bureaucracy reared its ugly head and said I couldn’t
do what I was doing. I tried switching to other things,
but the overhead was simple too high. I also had to lay
off most of my employees.
tragedy hit in 1991 when Jim’s father, Earl, shot
himself. Earl refused to live on renal dialysis without
beer. Jim’s mother became more clinging after that.
Jim’s son, Jimmy, moved in with her which helped with
that problem, but created others because they argued
constantly. We had to play referee.
same period of time I met a woman who only lived a few
miles from me. She was also involved in mail order, but
was also into spiritual awakening. She loaned me many
books, tapes, and videos on the things she had learned.
By this time, it was 1991, after Harmonic Convergence,
which I also learned about.
What I got
from her lead me to search for more info on conspiracy
theories; government corruption; spiritual awakening;
UFO’s; our true origins; about the civilization under
Mount Shasta…Telos, and other places. About Lemuria
and Atlantis; who was responsible for the spread of AIDS
and learned it always had a Cure. I learned there has
been a cure for every disease known to man for at least
40 years at that time, now it’s over 50 years. I
learned about the various coming events like the Photon
Belt and Pole Shifts. I learned the truth about our
Space Program; war on drugs; and the JFK’s, Robert
Kennedy, Martin Luther King’s assassinations.
Nostradamus, Edgar Cayce, and Michael Scallion. I AM
AMERICA series. I leaned about the many Ascended
Masters, Archangels and various members of the Galactic
Federations like Sananda, St. Germain, Metatron,
Maitreya, Kathumi, Kryon, Hatonn, Aton, Archangels
Michael and Gabriel, Soltec, Ashtar, Athena, Mother
Mary, Mary Magdelena, plus others. The list of the
information was endless. But most of this was fear based
information at that time. But my thirst for answers
We moved out
of California for several years, and lived in Oklahoma
for a while, and then Nevada. In 1995 my mother was put
on renal dialysis and was moved into a senior
citizens’ retirement complex 30 miles away where she
could receive better care. Prescription drugs had
destroyed her kidneys.
1996 my oldest sister, Helen, died after a 7 year fight
with cancer. Once treatment began, Helen never had
another good day. Helen’s husband, Bob, died less than
a year later of cancer. His fight was very short, only 9
months, once he was diagnosed. This sent me on an
intensive search into alternative medicine.
we were summoned back here to take care of Jim’s
mother, who broke her left arm. Shoulder replacement
surgery, a pacemaker, two mastectomies, two more broken
arms, a bleeding ulcer, Parkinson’s Disease, dementia,
a broken left hip, Alzheimer’s and we are still here 7
years later. She was placed in a nursing home last
September. Her orthopedic doctor said it would take at
least 2 years for her hip to heal, even then she would
never walk again. Her regular doctor said she wouldn’t
live that long. She’s lost down to about 80 lbs. from
about 125 lbs.
2001, my mother died less than 24 hours after being told
her chronic leukemia had become acute with a vengeance.
She died at 5:48 AM. One of my cousins, Neoma, who was
close to Mom, had a dream that my dad came down from
heaven to get my mom. Neoma suddenly woke up, it was
5:48 AM. I was the only family member with Mom at the
time she died, so I knew the exact time she died.
was not finished. In December 2002, my second oldest
brother, Elbert, was diagnosed with prostate cancer. My
third oldest sister, Shirley, was diagnosed with breast
cancer. Both refused alternative treatment. She was also
in a car wreak this past year and broke her arm in 3
places. She had to have 11 pins put in her arm. Since
the Cancer Foundation is paying for her treatment, they
would only authorize is surgery, chemo, and radiation.
As of 3 months ago, her treatment had cost over
$500,000. She called a few days ago and told me the
chemo destroyed her teeth, which means it also probably
affected her bones as well. Elbert used a new treatment
that zeroes in on only cancer cells.
June 2003, my
second oldest sister, Louise, the one who had polio,
also died of cancer. Her doctor couldn’t find it for 2
years. Another doctor found it on her first visit, by
that time it had spread throughout her body. She was
given 6 months to live. She chose to not fight it, and
died in less than 30 days. She also gave up.
On the day of
9/11, I knew it was an inside job before the WTC fell.
The more I learned about it, only confirmed my
suspicions. No one had to tell me, I just knew it, like
I knew some people would die before they did. The
following February, I found out about Dove and NESARA. I
read something that made me realize the prosperity
programs being mentioned were the same ones I had heard
about 10 years earlier. That led me to Four Winds, where
I found out even more. Then to Nancy Tate’s site, and
on the NTAT, and ultimately to SSN, and the SSN chatroom
which I visit every night.
My soul growth
has taken a giant leap forward since joining SSN. I was
able to replace the fear based information I learned
earlier and see the real truth: that love is all there
is…we are all one. That love and peace were the real
answers I was seeking, that the whole world needs. What
the world needs now is love, sweet love, not just for me
but for everyone. We also need peace, not just peace
from war, but inner peace. Harmony and balance with the
world and within ourselves. Freedom around the world,
but also freedom of _expression, to know ourselves. To
know Joy and laughter. To know there is abundance and
prosperity, enough for everyone in the world. There is
no need for lack or poverty for anyone in the world.
The road has
been long and bumpy, but I have learned a great deal
over the years. I hope my story and journey will help
others find their answers as well.